I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
