For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
birth control should be required to get into college
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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