wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
