I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
