On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
