pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
this hospital has no fireball
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
