haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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