If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
