it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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