it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
