she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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