Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
