I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
