New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
