SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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