I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
