Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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