dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
