i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
