Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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