SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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