He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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