im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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