we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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