I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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