it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
