so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
