there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
