You just made me feel so damn special
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
