just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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