Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
