dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
