we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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