Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
