my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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