Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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