she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
