Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
