I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
