I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
