she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
