last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just want to make out with him forever
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
