Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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