That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
