drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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