Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
