It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
