so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
