were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
