I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
