I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
