just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
