So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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