please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
