He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
