Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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