highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
