i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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