I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
