I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
