Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
